[ honestly, part of her wanted to stay still and let sayori keep playing with her hair, but she did come down here for a reason -- and an important one, so she nods. ]
Yeah... it kind of is. [ she reaches into her backpack slowly to pull out various foods and snacks. of course that's her first thought. ]
[Sayori pulls back to let Maya get at her backpack. There's another laugh, but this one contains a note of real joy as she opens up her sack of seeds to also reveal--.] I was thinking the same thing!
[--snacks, of course. Seed packets too, but Bender's snacks are clearly visible amongst the things actually intended to go in the ground. The poem remains folded up in one of her fists in the meantime.]
[It's subdued, but Sayori is pleased by this repartee. She follows Maya's gaze to the paper, and—] Oh, um, yeah. It's... [Her expression becomes somber.] For Niel.
You can read it if you want. Or I can read it for you.
[what up i'm maya i'm nineteen and i never fuckin learned how to read
The corner of Sayori's mouth quirks up, the slightest pink tinge rising in her cheeks.] That's super sweet.
[She closes up the seed sack again and unfolds the slightly wrinkled paper until the whole poem is visible. Just looking at it is enough to make her heart feel heavier, and for a moment, she has her doubts as to if she'll be able to read it the way it deserves to be read.
But she tries. Sayori's usual style of performance is...well, a little something like this. Light and pleasant and sweet, and yet somehow a little sentimental with the bittersweet feeling of something like nostalgia.
This isn't that. This is sheer sadness, only sounding soft due to the ginger touch of someone with too much empathy delivering some bad news. It lifts occasionally into almost sounding normal as she describes the better parts of Niel's life, but especially as she reads further on, there's just terrible, raw sadness weighing the words. She recites on despite the slight rasp her voice takes on when she reaches And we tried to give him the happiness he deserved.
By the time she finishes, she's just barely fighting off tears, and the last two lines are a desperate plea.]
[ it's a good thing maya didn't read it because she would have gotten it wet with her tears!!! as it stands, she closes her eyes to listen to it -- she wasn't exactly close to niel, but his story weighed heavily on her, and she's always had an empathetic heart. honestly? escaping from a horrible life, being manipulated by the relic so that his wish for a fairytale styled happiness turns into a nightmare that destroys everything it touched? that could have easily have been pearl. ]
[ it's horrible. and she can only imagine how much heavier it weighed on sayori, who found the book in the first place. ]
[ so by the end of it, she's crying. ]
That was really beautiful, Sayori. Thank you.
[ she puts her hand on sayori. ]
You want to plant this, right? I... I think you should. Everyone will remember him. And it's kind of like recycling, since the paper is going back to the trees....
[ maya ruins this sweet, emotional moment, by being herself ]
[While she's able to hold it together until she finishes, seeing the tears on Maya's face is enough to get them flowing from Sayori's eyes too. She sniffles and lifts a hand to wipe them away on her sleeve as she nods.] Yeah. I— ahaha, I kind of thought about that too, y'know?
[The moment is not ruined as far as Sayori is concerned.] It's...kinda poetic like that.
[ they can just hold hands and plant snacks with their free hands, it's fine. ]
[ maya laughs a little sadly. she can relate. ]
I don't think that's true. I mean.... you were the one who took care of things after Will and I.... well, you know.
[ after cee hungryman did her romance route and will got yeeted to the astral plane. maya heard about it later. ] So if not for you.... we would all probably still be trapped in Wonderland.
The corners of Sayori's mouth tense slightly as Maya speaks, and she regards the poem more intently just because it's easier than trying to meet Maya's eyes. She squeezes Maya's hand a little as she speaks, though it's not clear if that's intentional.] Oh, I— ahaha, I don't know about that. I'm sure it would've worked out fine with everyone else working so hard.
[She has to believe that. Because she's Sayori, and she believes in her friends too much, and there's no way she could accept that she was the one responsible for something this important.]
[ too bad for sayori, she has fallen into a trap. ]
[ it's the maya also believes in her friends too much trap. maya threads her fingers through sayori's a little more at the squeeze, and squeezes back. ]
I know. [ she did it all by herself!!! ] You were really amazing, Sayori. I'm just sorry I missed it and left you to do all the hard work.
[Sayori bites her lip, the flattered flush in her face warring with the sharp pain in her heart. Everyone keeps saying that, that what she did what amazing. But she doesn't feel very amazing about it.
And Maya... They're a lot alike. If it were the other way around, and Sayori were in Maya's position, she'd feel awful. Like the liability she's always so desperate not to be.
She can practically hear Maya's words in her own voice, and she shakes her head before consciously realizing she's going to argue.] It's not your fault! It worked when we had everyone with us...we couldn't have known something like that would happen instead.
I'm just happy you're— you know. [Not "okay," because they've established that neither of them are okay right now. Alive? True, but she'd get brought back anyway.
More like, given the horror that Maya encountered, Sayori is glad it wasn't worse. It could have been so, so much worse.]
[ this is just a cycle of them trying to comfort each other. maya doesn't want to think about what happened with the hunger guy -- it's all a spectacular failure in her eyes. made worse by the fact that she's probably possessed. or at least, she fears she is. she certainly wasn't strong enough to fight off legion, the last time this happened. ]
... We really didn't know.
[ that's all she can say in response to that. she wants to praise sayori more (she deserves it!) but she gives the other girl a weak little smile at the 'you know'... she does know. ]
Me too. You really scared me, in Wonderland.... I still don't totally get what happened, [ with the horrorscape. ] but you're..... you know.
[Once they've found a nice little plot to plant in, Sayori sits down, leading Maya with their still-joined hands. It gives her a moment to steel herself, unlock her jaw from where it sets at in Wonderland and consider how to answer this.
She sets aside the poem and seed bag and takes in a deep breath. Despite her best efforts, her voice cracks as she speaks, too little energy and too much not-okay to keep it together.] I'm— I'm really sorry you saw all that. I didn't—
[She knew there was something wrong with her. She even knew there was something wrong with her world, or she was pretty sure. But it was so much worse than she could have imagined.] —I didn't know about a lot of that stuff.
[ maya's slow to move, but she follows sayori's lead, all but collapsing on the ground beside her. walking is still trying, her leg is still weak and healing and it's taking longer than she'd like. ]
[ it seems like sayori really needed that moment, though. her fingers twine deeper into sayori's as her voice cracks. her own voice is soft. ]
Don't apologize. I'm glad I was there. Even if it was horrible.... you shouldn't have to face something like that alone. And.... I'd fight that stupid game or whatever it was trying to be as many times as I had to, to make sure you were safe from it.
[ doki doki fight club ]
[ but then, she hits a wall. because she almost doesn't even know what to say, how to comfort sayori after that. ]
.... I'm sorry. I... I can't imagine what you must be feeling, after all that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ honestly, part of her wanted to stay still and let sayori keep playing with her hair, but she did come down here for a reason -- and an important one, so she nods. ]
Yeah... it kind of is. [ she reaches into her backpack slowly to pull out various foods and snacks. of course that's her first thought. ]
I kind of wanted to plant these.
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[--snacks, of course. Seed packets too, but Bender's snacks are clearly visible amongst the things actually intended to go in the ground. The poem remains folded up in one of her fists in the meantime.]
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That's 'cause we're both geniuses.
[ clearly that's it. while digging out the snacks, maya catches sight of it. ]
Did you write something...?
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You can read it if you want. Or I can read it for you.
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[ maya can't read, that's why she's the mayain character. ok no ]
I think... the best way to hear it, would be in your voice.
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The corner of Sayori's mouth quirks up, the slightest pink tinge rising in her cheeks.] That's super sweet.
[She closes up the seed sack again and unfolds the slightly wrinkled paper until the whole poem is visible. Just looking at it is enough to make her heart feel heavier, and for a moment, she has her doubts as to if she'll be able to read it the way it deserves to be read.
But she tries. Sayori's usual style of performance is...well, a little something like this. Light and pleasant and sweet, and yet somehow a little sentimental with the bittersweet feeling of something like nostalgia.
This isn't that. This is sheer sadness, only sounding soft due to the ginger touch of someone with too much empathy delivering some bad news. It lifts occasionally into almost sounding normal as she describes the better parts of Niel's life, but especially as she reads further on, there's just terrible, raw sadness weighing the words. She recites on despite the slight rasp her voice takes on when she reaches And we tried to give him the happiness he deserved.
By the time she finishes, she's just barely fighting off tears, and the last two lines are a desperate plea.]
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[ it's horrible. and she can only imagine how much heavier it weighed on sayori, who found the book in the first place. ]
[ so by the end of it, she's crying. ]
That was really beautiful, Sayori. Thank you.
[ she puts her hand on sayori. ]
You want to plant this, right? I... I think you should. Everyone will remember him. And it's kind of like recycling, since the paper is going back to the trees....
[ maya ruins this sweet, emotional moment, by being herself ]
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[The moment is not ruined as far as Sayori is concerned.] It's...kinda poetic like that.
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Yeah. I don't know that much about poetry, but... it fits. I think he's probably happy that you're thinking of him like this.
[ his spirit. ]
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Her eyes vaguely trace the letters of the poem again.] ...I hope so. This is all I really know how to do.
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[ maya laughs a little sadly. she can relate. ]
I don't think that's true. I mean.... you were the one who took care of things after Will and I.... well, you know.
[ after cee hungryman did her romance route and will got yeeted to the astral plane. maya heard about it later. ] So if not for you.... we would all probably still be trapped in Wonderland.
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The corners of Sayori's mouth tense slightly as Maya speaks, and she regards the poem more intently just because it's easier than trying to meet Maya's eyes. She squeezes Maya's hand a little as she speaks, though it's not clear if that's intentional.] Oh, I— ahaha, I don't know about that. I'm sure it would've worked out fine with everyone else working so hard.
[She has to believe that. Because she's Sayori, and she believes in her friends too much, and there's no way she could accept that she was the one responsible for something this important.]
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[ it's the maya also believes in her friends too much trap. maya threads her fingers through sayori's a little more at the squeeze, and squeezes back. ]
I know. [ she did it all by herself!!! ] You were really amazing, Sayori. I'm just sorry I missed it and left you to do all the hard work.
[ such as tree murder. ]
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And Maya... They're a lot alike. If it were the other way around, and Sayori were in Maya's position, she'd feel awful. Like the liability she's always so desperate not to be.
She can practically hear Maya's words in her own voice, and she shakes her head before consciously realizing she's going to argue.] It's not your fault! It worked when we had everyone with us...we couldn't have known something like that would happen instead.
I'm just happy you're— you know. [Not "okay," because they've established that neither of them are okay right now. Alive? True, but she'd get brought back anyway.
More like, given the horror that Maya encountered, Sayori is glad it wasn't worse. It could have been so, so much worse.]
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... We really didn't know.
[ that's all she can say in response to that. she wants to praise sayori more (she deserves it!) but she gives the other girl a weak little smile at the 'you know'... she does know. ]
Me too. You really scared me, in Wonderland.... I still don't totally get what happened, [ with the horrorscape. ] but you're..... you know.
[ not okay, but here. ]
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She sets aside the poem and seed bag and takes in a deep breath. Despite her best efforts, her voice cracks as she speaks, too little energy and too much not-okay to keep it together.] I'm— I'm really sorry you saw all that. I didn't—
[She knew there was something wrong with her. She even knew there was something wrong with her world, or she was pretty sure. But it was so much worse than she could have imagined.] —I didn't know about a lot of that stuff.
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[ it seems like sayori really needed that moment, though. her fingers twine deeper into sayori's as her voice cracks. her own voice is soft. ]
Don't apologize. I'm glad I was there. Even if it was horrible.... you shouldn't have to face something like that alone. And.... I'd fight that stupid game or whatever it was trying to be as many times as I had to, to make sure you were safe from it.
[ doki doki fight club ]
[ but then, she hits a wall. because she almost doesn't even know what to say, how to comfort sayori after that. ]
.... I'm sorry. I... I can't imagine what you must be feeling, after all that.