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(This post can be used for game continuations or one-on-one meetings! It can also be used as a general 'call me out' post for Maya. Please specify in the title if it's an ingame thread or not, and if not, which canon point/RP version you'd like! Feel free to write a scenario for the latter, or let me know what kind of thread you're looking for and I'll set up a scenario for you)
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I mean..... I can't fight, or hack, or do anything that really helps in missions, right? [She gets in the way, like Jon said] Sooo, I'm not really any good to the team.
[So maybe Giovanni's not the only one who was raised to believe he was worthless, hmm]
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And yet you've made it along this far, haven't you?
[He shrugs, and there's a moment's delay, a fraction hesitation before he continues on because really, he isn't accustomed to speaking like this. But--]
I can fight, but there have been many a time when I felt I served no purpose on this team, where my own skills seemed to be...misplaced, shall we say. Some of our number even told me as much, that my way of doing things wasn't welcome here. But in the end, there have been times where I've pulled my weight. Sometimes in ways I wouldn't have expected, or believed possible, once. I'm sure there are things you can do, or have done, during your stay here. Skills that could be adapted, if remaining here is what you wanted.
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.... Barely. It's not like I chose to be here, and.... well, I might seem like I'm tough, [Does she really give off that impression?] but I.... I don't wanna be left behind, either.
[And she knows he'll get that, and maybe even the implications behind it. Strange as it is for her to process, he seems to understand her point of view, too, from experience -- different experience, same feeling. But Maya doesn't think he was never pulling his weight]
Do you really think so?
[She certainly has doubts]
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And yes, of course he understands the fear of being left behind, understands it right down to the bones, and he gives her a perfunctory nod at that, just once, sharp and final.
Then her question comes, and at last he shows her his crooked smile. Raises one thin blond brow.]
Do I strike you as the sort to hand out empty platitudes?
[Hint: he isn't that sort at all.]
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[But she gets what he's saying. It's hard for her to process --- she doesn't fully believe it, doesn't know if she can believe it, but she isn't going to argue when he's being kind to her. So she gives him a little wan smile.] ... But thanks.
[It's unexpected, to say the least, she always thought of herself as someone who just annoyed him and nothing more --- but it's not the first time she's seen kindness from people she wouldn't have necessarily expected it from. She pauses]
.... Would you miss me if I left?
[She grins, and says it lightly, like she's joking or teasing, but she does look a interested in the answer]
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And he'd understand, were she to say such things aloud, the doubts she can't bypass, a disbelief in her sense of worth. He feels those same feelings down to the centre of himself, after all, knocking hollow against his bones, ever-present and unrelenting. Hard not to, after a lifetime of being informed of one's worthlessness. But she doesn't speak it aloud, instead asks another question, and although the denial is right there on the tip of his tongue, the little scoff, the sarcastic comment--
--ultimately, it doesn't come. Instead there's a heavy moment of silence instead, whilst he debates with himself over whether it's really something he can say. But for all he knows she'll decide to leave, ultimately, and if it can't be said in a moment like this, perhaps it never can be. As such--]
Yes.
[Unlike her, he sounds quite serious. Quite solemn.]
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[If Maya were the type to vocalize those feelings out loud on her own, they'd be having a different conversation. But alas, she's more likely to make a joke out of her own fears and pains or hide them entirely and put on a smile for the sake of the people around her. She's starting to count Giovanni as one of those people -- someone she wants to be strong for, to try to coax him out of his shell a little more.]
[Still, while she was teasing, she's pretty surprised by the answer she hears. At best, she'd considered herself to be a minor annoyance in his eyes, but apparently she did leave some kind of mark. Her eyes widen initially, at the admission --- she's clearly shocked by the answer, and she stares openly at him for a second or two. Her natural instinct, following, is to laugh or make some kind of joke to bypass the emotion, and she uses all of her self-restraint to hold back, because she gets the feeling he wouldn't take it well if she laughed at him, even if it's good-natured]
Weeeellll.......
Lucky for you, I'm sticking around, huh?
[It looks like she did make up her mind after all.] You won't get rid of me that easily, Giovanni.
[She dropped the "mister"....]
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No matter. He waits out her moment of wide-eyed silence, a further dose of self-consciousness already beginning to sink in before she breaks the growing stillness with her words. No mister this time, no, and he does notice it. Prefers it.
He smiles, small and sharp yes, but perhaps there's something visibly genuine lurking around its hard edges.]
What luck, indeed.
[His tone is a little wry, yes, but the truth is there's more than a small measure of relief in him on hearing her admission.]